So to

My attitude that everything feminine was to be completely avoided was even more firmly entrenched by an incident which occurred in the second grade, at which time I was seven years old. We had no desks which were bolted to the floor, but ordin- ary chairs, which some of the boys in the class would tend to rock back on two legs. So the lady teacher had a most effective way to stop such action. She brought a large doll baby to class and any boy she caught rocking back on two legs of his chair, she would say, "If you want to rock, you can rock the baby." my complete horror, I was inadvertingly caught, leaning back on two legs of my chair and was presented with the large doll to hold in my lap. I was blushing furiously and was in numb em- barrassment, to have to hold the doll in my lap, in front of all the other grinning boys and girls. (Needless to say, I never again leaned back with my chair.) I cannot comment on the prop- riety of such corrective procedure, but can attest to its effective- ness. Also, I do not know if such an incident could possibly have any bearing on the entire picture.

On two occasions around ten to twelve years of age, I mas- queraded in girl's clothes, for parties at Halloween, using old costumes of my sisters' and I found feminine attire neither de- lightful, nor distasteful. The events do not stand out and I be- lieve it was merely the case of accepting whatever costumes were available. But when I was about 15 or 16, I experienced a definite most disconcerting and disturbing incident, in which I had an irresistible desire to try on a young woman's dress. We had a large three story house and as there were two extra bed- rooms on the third floor, my mother kept roomers to help allev- iate expenses, and a young pretty girl of about 24 named Kathryn, roomed with us for awhile. She was always extra pleasant, to me, going out of her way to greet me, as I was so bashful with girls. Very shortly, however, she left to get an apartment, but left some of her things in her room temporarily for which she said she would return.

So one day, I was alone in the house and happened to go to the third floor--for no reason that I can now recall--and I saw

14.